What the hell am I doing here?
Experience I say. I want to learn. And there is so much to learn. I want to be a sponge. Take in as much as I can. Maybe leverage it in getting a better-paying job or maybe a business. And I do am learning a lot. My responsibilities now sometimes make me think if I’m way over my head. Power and authority. This wouldn’t have been possible have I stayed in my old company.
Is about being good in my job? Admittedly up to know I’d rather do something else. Something I’d really be passionate about.
So is it all about money then? Could be. The lure of earning more is very tempting to almost anyone, me included. Imagine getting closer to your financial goals at a much accelerated pace? Four times the pace to be exact. I even now have a smirk on my face saying that. But do I really need to earn as much?
What do I have to give up?
I see my parents having more white hair than I could remember. Additional lines that used to be just part of a smile or frown before. Hearing and memory sometimes failing. Their movements slightly slower than the usual. I see my parents growing old before me. And I’m not around.
I miss those Sundays waking up early so we can catch mass. Those walk around the malls till our legs ached. Playing basketball with my father and brother. Watching my brother show just how he could have been the next big thing in basketball. Hitting the driving range with my father. Talking over dinner. My mother’s cooking.
Seatbelt sign has just turned on. The flight attendant has just announced we’re approaching our final descent. The lights have just turned on. I’d really have to stop crying.
Tags: career, family, Homesickness, OFW
